In the process of thinking about why I don’t buy newspapers more often, and why I fell off the book wagon, I began to remember how very nostalgic it is to flip through a newspaper, and how very relaxing it is to spend a few hours in a bookstore. Coffee in-hand, walking up and down towering aisles of books, looking for that perfect story you won’t have any trouble ducking into for a week.

Technology, as wonderful as it can be, has consumed us. And I for one feel so far removed from the basics, I’ve forgotten how to spend quality time with them.

Well, until now.

Maybe we, as a society, need to utilize our high-tech brakes more often. Ironically enough, I just told my latest social media group that the NY Times Twitter page is so fantastic because it allows the user to scroll through their articles and pick out exactly what they want. Now I feel like telling them sometimes the fastest way isn’t the best way; sometimes we do move too quickly; sometimes we do need to take a step back and live a few decades in the past in order to regain some sanity in this fast-paced world. Dare we call this a “Technology Detox”?

I’m willing to bet, if even only a tiny bit, you would benefit from that.

A cold trackpad, or glass screen, doesn’t feel the same as a freshly-printed book in your hands. And no RSS feed can compare with sitting outside during the summer, while having breakfast, as you flip through the pages of your local newspaper. The computer screen glare alone would just ruin that moment, don’t you think?

Life isn’t meant to be rushed — It’s meant to be enjoyed, slowly. It’s not that long, you know. So why try to cram as much as possible into it? We could be selling ourselves short by focusing on quantity instead of quality.

Perhaps.

You may find changing your mentality on how you view things enables the positive to come out more freely. After all, life is quite a bit about mental perception.

Remind yourself that you’re on an ever-changing journey, and though that journey, things certainly can become tangled-up rather well. But those same things will always find a way to become untangled, placing you gently back on-track.

Equally enjoying the Up’s and Down’s may not be the easiest thing for any of us to do, but if you try your hardest to reach a point of inner peace, life will become fuller. “Dreading” is a choice you make, and nothing is chiseled in stone that says you have to dread every battle you fight, or every hill you climb. Think of the “tough stuff” as stepping stones; Maybe you won’t feel so lonely, confused, or frustrated during the process if all of this becomes just what you need to do in order to move forward.

Furthermore, remember: Everything is relative. If you forget this important piece of the puzzle, you’ll find it difficult to see eye-to-eye with anyone.

For instance:

Person A has $10,000 in debt. Person B has $2,000 in debt. If Person B hasn’t ever had more than that, their emotional response to their debt [even though it's 80% less] will most-likely be equal. And don’t get me wrong, Person B will recognize they have it much better than A, but it’ll still be a tough road for them to travel down because it’s the worst they’ve known.

Again, Relativity.

You have the power to lay the foundation for what your core will be, and choosing a negative platform to stand on won’t hold you up very long.

If you find yourself there (and really I should say ‘when you find yourself there’, because ultimately we’ll all pay that scenario a visit once or twice) don’t give up hope. The neatly wrapped package you had once had, or that you’re looking for, will find it’s way to you. The trick is to be patient and positive, as tough as both those can be. Sometimes it’s helpful to remind yourself that we’re all in the same boat — This journey we’re on doesn’t come with a guidebook, and we will get lost from time to time. That’s an absolute — We can only do our best.

The great part is that we have complete control to define what “our best” means.

Set the bar as high as it can go, so each day you wake you strive to reach the top, and if you don’t reach it, no biggie –  You’ve probably just gone higher than most people, and certainly higher than you would have gone without having something to aim for. Not to mention, you can always keep trying.

Each time you allow yourself to get bogged down with the immaterial you will lose another precious minute, another hour, another day. You’ll lose a moment you could have shared with a friend or loved one, or one of self-reflection, in which you learn a thing or two about who you are, who you want to become, your desires, or your goals.

So regardless as to where you are on your journey, keep reminding yourself nothing lasts forever. Sadly, that also goes for the good stuff, and though it’s never fun to think about, it can be beneficial to remind yourself of that from time to time — It’ll make you grateful for what you have, even when other parts of your life may be in disarray.

As the Holidays approach, carve out time to look around your world and pick out all that is good. And if you find things in your world that are making you unhappy, start by jotting down ideas as to how you can overcome them.

A lot of people want change to occur instantly, but there is no such thing as anything happening “instantly” in the bigger picture — Even the quickest and simplest things in life took a lot of planning before they became routine.

So grab a pen and paper, glass of wine or cup of coffee, and cozy up in a relaxing chair to do a bit of digging.

You have the power to make your life anything you want it to be. Don’t waste that gift — It’s the biggest and most important one you will ever get.

Yes, it’s true — In moments of distress, artists thrive. Shocked? Somehow I didn’t think you would be.

When going through the “tough” in life artists get up, dust off, savor the moment, and continue down their respective creative paths even more enthusiastically than the day before.

Analogy.

The clock is pushing 1am and you’re still an hour away from home after a nice, long, relaxing weekend. You’re getting tired but don’t want to pull the car over (which I agree is not the best approach but for the sake of this stay with me). The sleep begins to take you over; your eyes shut without warning and that scares the hell out of you. What happens next is not exactly pleasant, and you know it won’t be ahead of time, but you do it anyway — You smack yourself in the face a few times with a decent amount of force to get the blood flowing, and to ‘about-face’ your senses.

Once you pull into the driveway you’re grateful that the mobility of your hand was useful.

You did what you had to do.

Everyone has it in them to overcome a situation and fight the effects, but are you one who will do it? In the car scenario, would you pull over, or push on through? Artists push on through. It’s not always the best decision. We don’t always do it with grace. And it’s certainly not the easiest road. But it’s second nature.

We don’t take a time-out to heal.

We create to heal.

An artist overcoming pain can dish out some of the best paintings ever painted, the best photos ever taken, the best films ever filmed, the best songs ever written. Raw emotion combined with imagination produces pieces so far outside our conscious realm it’s overwhelming and powerful.

And it’s so important to capture that moment as it’s happening.

Tapping into such a deep place can’t be done manually — You have to clutch that moment it in your hand, and hang on until you feel cleansed and satisfied.

It’s tough, if not impossible, to recreate the way your body feels, the way your mind works, or the way your words sound when moving towards recovery after turmoil. And it’s in that recovery process that our creative spark-plugs switch themselves out for a new set, and push us to new heights of creation.

Don’t take these times for granted as a creator.

These are the moments when pure emotion turns itself into art.

Today I did not wake up in my own bed. I did not get ready in my own bathroom. I did not feed my cats, I did not let my dog out. I did not meet my neighbor at six fifty-five to drive to the train station. I did not stop at my usual coffee shop.

This evening I will not pull into my driveway. I will not put my key in the back door as I have everyday for the last year and a half. I will not be greeted by three small-to-medium sized furballs waiting for their dinner. I will not sit on my front porch sipping wine. I will not cook dinner on my grill. I will not watch the news on my tv while sitting on the couch come six-thirty.

As the week goes on, I will not be putting the trash & recycling out. I will not be worried whether or not the fan is on in the bathroom after I shower upstairs. I will not empty the dehumidifier in the basement. I will not water the plants. I will not clean the house. It will no longer be my concern when the neighbors are screaming at each other at 1am.

Yes, today there was a shift in my routine, alright.

I have migrated from everything in its own place to my clothes in bags, and whatever breakable items I have wrapped in towels stuffed in laundry baskets because I didn’t have enough time to get boxes and tissue paper.

It’s a nightmare to be this unorganized.

But here’s what I will do.

When I get off the train in about thirty-five minutes I will walk to my car. I will get on route ninety-five south. I will pass by my old exit. I will wind through Providence until I come to exit fourteen-a. I’ll take it, and end up at my parents house, where all of my bags and towel-wrapped glasses are being stored. I will shower. I will dig for some clothes. I will head out, close the door behind me, and forget for the moment that tomorrow night I have to sort through my belongings, and look for a new apartment.

I’ll keep my head up, and also remind myself that I took a big step in leaving. It will be to my benefit in the long run. And I will remember, that as hard as it may be to believe the cliché saying, it is for the best.

Today, there was a shift in my routine.

But what I did today will become a familiar routine to me soon enough, and take the place of the old one I seem to be missing.

Many don’t walk with confidence; it’s sad to think we’ve become a society of insecurities. Walk with your head up, already! Be proud of who you are.

If I could rewind the clock and go back to playing all summer long with neighborhood friends, where my biggest decision of the day was which flavor of ice cream to have after dinner, I would. But just for a day.

There is a man sitting next to me smoking an oak colored pipe and reading. I enjoy watching him because he looks so peaceful, and so ‘in the moment’.

There are some very high-end baby carriages out here. How much do these things cost? I just saw one that matched it’s owner – The baby was comfortably relaxing in his Burberry-lined bed on wheels, whereas his grandmother was rocking a pair of closed toe Burberry shoes.

Why aren’t more people here? It’s windy, and a bit cloudy, but overall not a bad day.

An artist is paining a landscape in the corner. It looks good. A bit vanilla for my taste, but still, it’s nice.

This will be direct. Dirty flip-flops are unappealing. Stay away from light colors if you can, unless you’re able to properly take care of them.

This grass could use some help.

The Prudential is to my right; I can only see the top of the building. Damn. That’s high.

People have the ability to become much more interesting when put to music; Music has the ability to become much more interesting when paired with people.

Someone forgot their yellow dump truck in the middle of the grass.

Three venti Starbucks mocha frappuccinos with extra whip just walked by. To quote a new friend, “Why?”

A little bird is hopping around me. Does he think I’m food?

There are two sets of boys playing basketball. One set is getting every basket in. The other set, which consists of 3 well-to-do white males, have made 0.

The peaceful guy from earlier is now cleaning his pipe. Book is down.

An overweight black man just rode by me on his bike. There was a bell on his right-handlebar.

It’s starting to rain. Oh. Wait. Maybe this is why people aren’t here today?

During milestones we are instilled with something new, be it a lesson, a frame of mind, or a mental note to stay away from or gravitate towards a certain situation or person. Without hitting the ceiling from time to time we might never know what it is, or who it is, we should be around or with as we continue down this unguided path.

Challenges present themselves without warning. It’s how you handle the challenges that make the difference. Facing them head on and dealing with what you need to when you need to will will propel you forward. Putting your head down and covering yourself with a blanket will set you back. It’s not a science we can dictate on paper, and there is no structured formula — It’s a power bigger than our rational thoughts; it is our subconscious kicking in and our survival mechanism engaging.

Take comfort in knowing when you need the tools they will be there. You will get through the rocky times, and surpass what you perceive to be limitations. You will rise to a higher level of spirituality with each step you climb.

Those who love you will be there to push you should you need a bit of help. They’ll wrap themselves around your worries, and enhance your joys with a smile, a hug, a shoulder to lean on or a hand to grasp, just so you know they’re there.

In the end, everything will be okay, and you will continue to thrive, to learn, and to live.

It would be nice if we could keep our needs & wants organized in boxes. Our inventory would be updated weekly, and sent to us via email so we could keep a running tab. And, for $1.99/month, it would also determine where each item fell in the bigger picture. What a deal!

Unfortunately, there are no organized boxes for intangible items, nor can we have another person keep track of our ever growing inner-inventory. Someone should have thought of that. We came up with Oreos; why this is so hard? I’m not sure. But a lot of people have trouble figuring out what it is they truly need from another person, and more importantly, for themselves.

Do we need and want differently at different ages? At different milestones? After different life experiences? Sure. Though I don’t think it makes it any easier, as there will always be new feelings & desires to categorize.

When you were younger you needed to eat enough vegetables, and wanted freeze pops. Between the ages of 30-40 you need a steady income, a home, and probably still will want freeze pops, among other things. Between the ages of 50-60 it’s about needing to have your T’s crossed and I’s dotted on your stock investments and retirement plans, and, who are we kidding, you may still want freeze pops. Or a vacation home. Maybe you want both, which is understandable.

Personally, I don’t want a luxury car, or a mansion, or a vacation home. I want to love, create, laugh, take care of my friends and family, and enjoy every single day. For me, I’ve always considered my wants to be my needs, and my needs to be my wants.

Maybe at the end of the day some of us don’t want to categorize things. Maybe some of us don’t want to struggle with determining the differences.

Maybe some of us choose wide open spaces instead of divided ones.

And really, who could argue with that.

Take a few moments out of your day to look within yourself and think about what it is you’re here for; what your purpose is. What you want to be remembered for shouldn’t be difficult — It should be part of your daily life; something you’re consciously aware of.

Your path, you can change, but time, you can’t ever get back.

I’d like to be remembered for making people laugh. For making them feel as though I was there to listen when they needed to be listened to. For being a friendly, generous person. For never taking the bad times too seriously. For having a positive outlook on life, for my desire to help people, for doing what I could to make this place a bit better than how I found it.

Your turn.

Slow down for an hour or so today and think about what your list would be. Think about your past, your present, your future. Remind yourself periodically during the day tomorrow that even though you might get another chance to “do-over” your day, you’ll have to use the next minute to regain your ground. Living with meaning makes the journey more enjoyable, more lively, and much more memorable.

Whether you have a three or seven-figure bank account, being able to separate yourself from material objects will ultimately improve your quality of life. You’ll begin to enjoy the simple pleasures, and focus on what you have or need, instead of what you want or wish you did.

Just a note.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing something in a store and wanting to buy it. The issue comes when the urge-to-splurge consumes you. Saying, “I wish I had ::insert product here::” more often than not is a common warning sign, and if you’re experiencing it, keep reading.

Let’s start.

Get back to the basics.
You need shelter, but not a mansion. You need clothing, but not True Religion. You need food, but not fillet mignon. There’s a big difference between “need” and “want”, and Americans have blurred those lines rather well over the years. If you are in a position where you can afford those things, be proud of that, but don’t feel as though you need them to project your success; that becomes a very tricky avenue.

Don’t make a wish-list.
Who needs to focus on a list of items they can’t yet afford? It will just leave you feeling worse about your situation. You may by default become less-stressed by eliminating these, as you’ll be focussed in the present moment instead of the future.

Live withing your means.
If obtaining something will put you in financial stress, stay away. You shouldn’t purchase a home or car and then be so strapped for cash you can’t even enjoy it. Who wants to spend every day stressing about What If’s? ‘What if something breaks and I have to replace it’ or ‘What if I can’t afford the monthly $2k mortgage’, etc.

Retail therapy is not the answer.
Spending money you don’t have is not therapeutic. Charging up your credit cards in moments of stress is a bad, bad idea; you’ll just end up being even more stressed afterwards. If you must buy something (which I’m not condoning, but hey, we’re only human) go for something inexpensive and small you can enjoy for an extended period of time – Plants for the garden or a new set of wine glasses. Think smaller during these shopaholic moments.

Detach yourself from careless spending.
This is important at every income level. You don’t really need 10 different bottles of lotion so don’t allow your mind trick you into thinking you do. At $40,000/year you might want to buy a Range Rover. At $1,000,000/year you might want to purchase a $10 million home – Neither is sensible.

Turn to nature.
Instead of going on a shopping-spree with a friend go on a nice walk or run, and plan to grab lunch or dinner together later on to reward yourselves for not blowing $500 on items you really don’t need.

The point of controlling your mindset regarding money is not to limit yourself to buying what you can afford, but instead to start thinking about other things before you think about whipping out your wallet. Try to begin focusing on what you have — Life becomes a much happier and less-stressful place when you do.